


The Other Side Of Paradise

by SecretlyADog



Series: How To Be A Human Being [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Buckle up kids, Emotional Trauma, F/M, Heavy Angst, I CALL RK900 CALEB, I am so sorry, I'm so sorry, Major character death - Freeform, Oh, Oh boy this is gonna be a wild ride, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Really Heavy Angst, What Have I Done, and also nines, be careful out there, because otherwise i might never finish this thing fdjsbhd, fast burn, gender neutral reader, i wanted this to be happier than this, if i slip up and insert a pronoun CALL ME OUT, it isn't finished like fyiws was, kind of an au of for you i was strong, not saying who because spoilers but, or at least they're supposed to be, there IS a sequel now, there's been foreshadowing since the beginning, there's going to be a sequel, this one won't update daily, this was always supposed to happen, tread lightly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-07 04:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15900615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyADog/pseuds/SecretlyADog
Summary: Connor is gone. Now HE'S your partner, but you aren't quite able to get over the way he looks just like your friend.And he's not able to get over the feelings he has for you.





	1. When I Was Young and Stupid...

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, * = POV change, --- = time skip
> 
> I promised I would write this and I... kind of did!  
> I need motivation to continue it (I only have a few scenes past this one) so I figured I'd upload the first chapter/scene and see what kind of response I get :^)

You were giving all of your attention to some paperwork that really needed doing - something about some new case that had popped up - so you nearly jumped out of your skin when you heard your name said by a very familiar voice behind you. You whipped around in your swivel chair, his name almost leaving your mouth like a question - “Con-?” - but it cut off when your eyes didn’t meet his soft brown ones. They were a gray-blue color, and they were anything but soft. Cold, calculated - Connor’s had been that way at one point, but this was on another level. This android looked nearly identical to Connor, his hair was even the same, but  _ man, _ was he tall. And you’d thought Connor was tall. That, among other things, made this model’s features… pretty intimidating, and Connor wasn’t intimidating unless he wanted to be. 

Where… WAS Connor? You hadn’t seen him lately and you missed him. You’d befriended him soon after he was assigned to Hank. He was a good person and you really liked him. He was also very attractive. Before you could develop a crush on him, he talked to you about this girl he’d met, and you, recognizing the signs, had reeled yourself in. There was no use letting yourself crush on someone who was already taken. You could be good friends instead.

Soon after that, he’d become a deviant and even gotten himself a girlfriend - that girl he’d mentioned to you (surely that was the reason why he’d deviated in the first place), and then he’d… disappeared. Why? He’d been gone for a couple of days now, and now there was this new android in his stead, with his face, and he was… talking to you. He sounded just like him, too.

“I am the android sent by Cyberlife to replace the faulty RK800 model. My name is-”

“Replace him?” you said too quickly, feeling anxiety and dread invade your mind and crawl their way uncomfortably to your stomach. “Where is he? What happened to him?”

The RK900 tilted his head ever so slightly. “I imagine they’re taking it in to be decommissioned right about now.”

Your stomach lurched uncomfortably. They were going to… destroy him?  _ Kill _ him?

“They’re-...” You were very glad you were sitting down for that. In an effort to prevent the tears and/or stomach acid from coming out, you rested your elbow on your desk and supported your head by placing your hand on your forehead. “He’s…”

The android in front of you tilted his head the other way. “You’re in distress,” he noted. You curled in on yourself and covered your face with your hands. Yes. Distress was one way to put it. “Were you friends with him?”

The question was… interesting. Mostly because he was referring to Connor as something other than a machine. Partially because it sounded as if Connor himself was asking it, but also because he sounded so  _ unemotional _ when he said it even though it sounded as if it could’ve come from someone who was trying to… comfort you.

You nodded, breath hitching as you fought back crying. You wouldn’t cry. You wouldn’t.

You sensed rather than saw the RK900 lean against your desk in a very human gesture. For a moment, he said nothing. Then a large hand came up to rest on your shoulder gently, comfortingly. “I’m sorry,” Connor’s voice said.

It almost stunned you out of your nearly crying state. He WAS comforting you. Definitely just because you two were… partners? Was that why he’d come over here? Either way, it was nice. It must’ve been part of his more advanced social protocols.

“You’re calming down,” the RK900 commented. “Am I helping?”

You sniffed, finally lowering your hands so you could look at him. His head was still tilted and his expression was still blank. It unnerved you that he could look that way even while comforting you, but you would just have to accept it. This was how he was.

You nodded again, dabbing gently at your eyes. A smile, albeit clearly part of his programming, graced his face as his head straightened. “I’m glad I could assist you. If there is anything else I can do, let me know.”

Your heart fluttered slightly at the gesture.  _ ‘Just part of his programming,’ _ you reminded yourself. “Thank you,” you said softly. His head tilted again and this time he frowned ever so slightly.

“I’m only doing what’s necessary to complete the mission. There is no need to thank me.” 

Well, too late. You’d thanked him. He’d just have to deal with it. You didn’t say that out loud - instead, you smiled wryly. “Still. Thank you.”

The android regarded you apathetically, expression going blank. “Right. My name is Caleb. I’ve been assigned as your partner.”

You sighed and gave him your name, holding out your hand. Caleb glanced down from your face to your hand and back again. His face remained the same except for his eyes squinting (only slightly more than they already were) in confusion. After a second of hesitation, he shook your hand.

“Alright, Con- ugh, Caleb,” you stuttered nearly immediately. That was going to be annoying, to say the least. Heartbreaking, definitely. That android was gone. Snuffed out by Cyberlife like the flame to a candle they didn’t need anymore.

Caleb silently took in your dropping mood, analyzing you to decide what strategy to try next.

*


	2. ... My Love Left To Be A Rock And Roll Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "stop being sad," caleb says  
> "no" reader says  
> "ugh. fine."

Of course he would have to be patient with you. He’d just told you that your friend was destroyed.

Caleb didn’t exactly condone considering another android your friend, nor did he truly care that the deviant was gone. However, human emotions were fragile things. They could get attached to even the simplest pieces of technology - some examples that Caleb knew of included people calling their cars their babies or even people naming their automated vacuum cleaners. Roombas, Caleb thought they were called. Humans were strange, and he knew this, so he knew better than to correct you when you called his predecessor ‘him’. The RK800 model was just another failure, an experiment that had failed in its mission to not deviate. A prototype. Caleb was not a prototype. He would not fail.

He couldn’t express any of this to you. You were grieving. None of this information would help you. His social protocols told him so.

So when Caleb was able to sense your mood dropping as your stress levels rose again, he decided on his next course of action.

“What’s your favorite movie?” he asked earnestly.

You looked up at him with watery, surprised eyes. “Wh… what?”

“Your favorite movie.” Caleb blinked at you and tilted his head in a way that was supposed to express curiosity even if he didn’t feel the emotion.

You mused for a moment and then told him, quickly following it up with a “Why?”

“Just curious,” Caleb said nonchalantly. Your stress level had dropped slightly, but not enough. After a moment, Caleb asked “What’s your favorite food?”

You were equally as shocked at this question, but you described it in detail anyway.

“That sounds… nutritious. What is your preferred method of travel?”

Caleb continued asking you questions, distracting you from whatever thoughts had lead to your mood declining so rapidly. Once he was satisfied with the result, he stopped with a nod.

“Thank you for answering my questions.”

You stared at him for a minute, confusion giving way to realization the longer you looked at him. “Thank _you,_ ” you said softly, turning away.

Caleb safely assumed that this brought your relationship with him up, which was ideal for when you two would actually have to work together. He so far hadn’t seen any of that sharp intelligence that you were rumored to have, but then again, he’d only talked to you concerning your _friend_ dying.

“If you’re feeling better, I came here with the intent of informing you about a new case we’ve been assigned to. The call came in approximately 14 minutes ago. It’s best to leave now.” Caleb could relax the social protocol part of his processors now that the subject was switching to something he was better suited to.

“Alright…” you said, and your voice was still tinged with sadness. Even the way you stood was lethargic and screamed that you were in distress. No matter. Grief was a thing that took a while to go through. He would just have to be patient.


	3. Wise Little Smile That Spoke So Safely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> caleb almost dies because he's an idiot  
> i'm kidding i love him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TREAD LIGHTLY THIS IS KINDA FEELS HEAVY kinda

\---

A murder in a residential neighborhood. Of course that’s what this was. Would anything else even be worth Caleb’s time?

It had happened recently - a deviant had been spotted by a person running errands (the victim had barely left his house when it happened), so it had panicked and shot them with a gun it carried with it. Foolish. If it hadn’t wanted to be noticed, perhaps not shooting someone was a good first step. But no - the errors in it’s program had caused it to raise that gun and pull the trigger five times right at the person’s chest in some misguided attempt to remain in hiding. So foolish. Caleb would never have made that mistake, and he would never get the chance. He would never deviate.

“Did the victim live alone?” you questioned one of the officers already on the scene, and Caleb would’ve turned and written it off as an unnecessary question, data that didn’t need to be known, but-

“He had a daughter at home. We’ve already contacted the girl’s grandparents, they’ll be picking her up shortly.”

“How old was she?” you breathed, as if already feeling pain for this family. How did you stand it, feeling so many horrid emotions all the time? This was your  _ job _ and you subjected yourself to them. Caleb hoped you had a healthy way of dealing with them, because if you didn’t, this would seriously hinder the investigation.

**_Software instability \/--_ **

“Dad!” It was from quite a few houses down, but the fear in that shriek was unmistakable. Caleb saw her in the distance, being pulled away by two older people with tears streaking their faces. A scan confirmed that the girl was only 16. Caleb made the mistake of looking over at you to see your reaction - your face was contorted in pain as you looked into his eyes as if searching for something. Caleb let his face soften slightly in an attempt to comfort you. It must’ve worked, because yours softened as well when you looked away. 

As the screaming cries of the girl faded into the car she was forced inside of, Caleb couldn’t help but glance at the sheet that hid the body from the world and wonder if she’d be okay without him. 

**_Software instability /\ /\ /\_ **

“Let’s… let’s finish up here so we can get the hell out of here,” you muttered. Caleb couldn’t help but agree.

After ten minutes of inspecting the evidence, Caleb found you at the opening of an alley between houses. You were creeping forward, eyes scanning and hand twitching at your gun holster. Caleb came up next to you and said “Sixteen.”

You must’ve known he was there because you didn’t jump. You merely turned toward him, looking confused. “What?”

“She was sixteen.” The information was useless, totally worthless and yet… you hadn’t been answered back there. Not that it was anyone’s fault that you hadn’t been answered. In Caleb’s opinion, questions deserved to be answered, regardless of relevance. “You never got your question answered.”

You smiled brightly at Caleb and something twinged inside him. “Thanks, Nines.”

“Nines?” Caleb questioned, sounding incredulous.

“It’s a nickname,” you said pleasantly. “So I… don’t keep almost calling you-...”

Caleb blinked and looked away. “It isn’t the worst nickname I’ve ever heard.”

“Thank you! That means a lot!” You sounded so oddly cheerful. Perhaps you were distracting yourself. It… wasn’t unwelcome.

**_Software instability /\ /\ /\_ **

“You miss him,” Caleb commented. He didn’t want to bring it up again, but humans never got better from bottling up their emotions. They needed to talk to someone about it. He was the only one here.

You nodded. “I do. A lot. He’s been gone for a few days.” You two went silent as you both stared down the alley. “... I hope he wasn’t too scared,” you said quietly. “... I hope he’s… okay… wherever he is.”

Caleb held himself back from stating the obvious; feeling an emotion was just an error in it’s programming. It wouldn’t matter what it felt.

“Hey Nines.”

Caleb’s gaze snapped to you in an instant, waiting for you to continue.

“I’m glad you’re my partner. Thanks for… y’know… not correcting me when I call… well, when I say he’s a person. I know you probably want to.”

Caleb looked away again.  _ You weren’t wrong. _ “It helps you feel better. I can’t argue with that.”

**_Software instability /\ /\_ **

You smiled at him warmly. “I know it… probably goes against your programming.”

Caleb frowned. “If it went against my programming, I wouldn't do it. I'm not a deviant. You’re just vital to my mission.”

Your smile turned wry. “Let me pretend you care, at least.”

“If it makes you feel better.”

You let out a soft snicker, warming Caleb’s wiring unexpectedly. It… it was cute. He could admit that. You, you were… cute.

“Caleb, look out!” you shouted as you shoved him onto the sidewalk. A self-driving taxi barreled down the alley, nearly clipping you as you joined Caleb. Something like adrenaline coursed through him as he looked you over.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern hovering at the edge of his tone.

“Me? What about you? You’re- I thought you were gonna die! You didn’t see it?”

“I can’t die,” was his immediate response. Then, for a second, Caleb hesitated. It was much harder to answer you than it was to scold you for implying he was anything but a machine. “I was… distracted.”

You frowned at him but didn’t ask any further questions. “I don’t want to lose another one,” you chastised softly.

“Cyberlife would send a replacement with my memories. It would not hinder the investigation.”

You glared at him and an odd feeling shot through his thirium pump. “I don’t want you to die,” you insisted. “I don’t want to watch you die. I  _ like _ you. It would… make me very sad to see you go.”

Caleb tilted his head. The way you were acting with Connor… would you do the same for him? Struggle to keep what little memories you two had together under lock and key in your mind so that you didn't cry over him every few minutes? You were struggling to not cry over Connor, Caleb could tell. You put up a strong front, but human emotions were more complicated than that. And… you would be feeling those things for him. A machine. But you liked him like a person. Would mourn him as if he’d been alive. Did… that count for something?

**_Software instability /\ /\ /\_ **

“I will try my best to not be destroyed.”

“Thank you.”

\---


	4. My Life Turns In Slow Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actually, quite a bit happens.

After a few more missions together, you two were growing close and Caleb was growing quite fond of you. The first time he had seen you at work, using that deadly precision and intelligence you were known for, he’d felt a tingle in his spine and a strange sensation in his throat. He didn’t understand it. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, either. He ignored it - none of it was useful to him. Plus, he was getting a little worried… Perhaps you were a bad influence on him.

Sometimes, when you two weren’t on a case and it was within work hours, you would ask each other questions back and forth. Today was one of those days.

“Can I ask you a… pretty personal question, detective?” Caleb started hesitantly.

“Sure. Shoot, Nines.”

“Did you… love Connor?”

You froze. Glanced at him. Shock was written on your features. “I… guess I did. Not in a romantic way, if that’s what you mean-"

“No,” Caleb lied, hating the way he could feel the numbness of relief crawling along his wiring even when he had to ignore the slight hesitation in your face. “I was just curious about your feelings for him in general.”

“... Why?” you asked after pausing for a bit. “Did you want to know if I love you too? Because I do,” you teased.

Caleb fought the alarm that spiked through his system. Surely you meant in the non-romantic way, though? But… how could you love a machine like that? Caleb was… just a machine, after all. He hated the way his thirium pump regulator sped up, hated the spike of something like adrenaline in his veins.

“I don’t want anything. I can’t want anything, I’m just a machine.”

You eyed him and he was scared that you’d somehow see right through him. “Caleb,” you sighed, and you only sounded like that if he’d disappointed you somehow. What was it this time? Did you…  _ want _ him to be deviant? Why? Weren’t you fine with him the way he was? ...No. He just needed to complete the mission. What you thought about him didn’t matter.

**_Software instability \/ \/_ **

“You’re more than a machine to me,” you continued, but the damage was done.

“Detective, I’m sorry you’re disappointed in me but I can’t change what I am. I am a machine and that is that. Maybe you should stop wanting me to be something I’m not.” Caleb’s words were as calm and collected as they always were, but… even to his own audio processors, they were a few degrees cooler than usual.

You definitely heard it too, wincing visibly as you struggled to backpedal. “No, no, that’s not what I-... Are… Did I hurt your feelings, Caleb?”

“No, detective. I don’t have feelings, remember?” It hurt. It did. It really did.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“We should check in now. There may be a case for us.” There wasn’t. He would’ve been notified immediately. If you knew Caleb at all, you would’ve known the same. You would’ve known that was a “yes, you hurt my feelings.”

The way you were staring at him, Caleb was pretty sure you got the message.

*

It hadn’t taken long for you to make it up to him.

A few apologies here and there, you insisting that he was lovely and perfect the way he was every so often, and eventually he softened. It only took a few hours, which was great because a case eventually  _ did _ come in and investigating while there was tension between you two would be distracting at best.

A sense of unease hit you as soon as you arrived on the scene. It was an apartment complex that looked not terrible from the outside - just average, not the ideal scene for a murder. But that’s what happened - of course, some deviant had been caught breaking into someone’s apartment and then shot the victim when they came home. Interestingly enough, the deviant had stolen a photograph. The fact that a photo had that much value to a deviant was odd to you. Your partner seemed just as confused.

“I don’t like this,” you muttered to your partner as you two tiptoed through the chaos brought about by the deviant tearing everything apart for that one picture.

Caleb glanced at you, his usual almost angry expression set on his face (an android with resting bitch face,  _ interesting _ ) but the way his eyebrows quirked down, you could tell he agreed with you.

He said nothing, though, only refocused on the scene in front of you. Numbers marking the evidence littered the place and you winced at the spray of blood on one of the previously pristine walls. You turned your attention to the voice from the kitchen that was slowly becoming clear as you made your way toward it.

“... no sign of forced exit or entry, we can only assume it knew this place well and used the same method to leave-”

“Or it hasn’t left yet,” Caleb pointed out as you two joined the two officers. One of them was Gavin Reed. Why. You would’ve been happy to see anyone but him. His arms were crossed and he eyed you before giving Caleb a scornful glance and looking back to Chris.

“Right,” Chris said after a moment, the only sign of his discomfort being slight hesitation in his voice. “But we haven’t seen it yet if it  _ is _ still here.”

“If you’re so smart, ya plastic prick, go find it,” Gavin snapped. You took a step forward, a sharp retort on your tongue that died when Nines responded.

“You’ve been here much longer than we have. When I find it before you, I hope you won’t feel too inferior,” he said cooly.

Gavin glared at him and Chris shot you an apologetic look. “Feel inferior to a machine? As if.”

Caleb just smirked slightly as he walked away, inspecting another room in the apartment. You followed him, standing in the doorway as you looked around. As he moved deeper into the bedroom, you followed. You heard a closet door slide open and turned to see an android - the deviant, by the looks of it - focus on Nines and raise a gun.

“Nines!” you cried out as you leaped to block the shot.

Caleb lifted his head just in time to watch in horror as the bullet hit your shoulder instead of his thirium pump.

“It’s here!” he called out to the other two officers as he stepped around you. The deviant was staring at you in shock, as if it hadn’t intended to hurt you at all. It-  _ he  _ dropped his gun and ran out the door towards the kitchen.

You whimpered, clutching at your shoulder wound and trying in vain to stop the blood from flowing. Nines reached the door of the bedroom, almost continuing his pursuit before he stopped. He hesitated, turning back to look at you with a storm brewing in those blue-gray eyes of his, echoed by his spinning yellow LED.

“I’m okay,” you said through gritted teeth. Apparently that wasn't enough to convince him.

Caleb returned to your side, analyzing your shoulder and gently moving your hand away. His brow was furrowed and his face… screamed concern. Interesting. And you could’ve sworn his LED turned red for a second there.

“Caleb,” you said, voice a little raspy with pain, “You can go, I’m okay. Really.”

“You’re hurt,” he said, as if astounded that you'd even suggest he leave you like this.

“I'm okay. I’m…” You clenched your teeth as pain rolled through you. You’d shifted just a little, to make yourself more comfortable, but your shoulder screamed in protest. You’d been shot before, of course, but it wasn’t like you built an immunity to the pain.

“... You hurt yourself to protect me,” Caleb said, voice sounding less harsh and more awestruck.

You studied his face but it gave nothing away. “I did.”

“...  _ Why?” _ His eyebrows tilted down - he was confused. Trying to understand. Processing this, if his still-yellow LED was any indication.

“You’re my partner and my friend-” His eyes widened at this, as if something had just dawned on him. “-and I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Concern touched his features again, and gingerly he crouched lower and slid his arms under you to pick you up. “You need medical attention. We should go to the hospital.” His yellow LED flickered for a moment before, surprisingly, it shifted back to blue. “I’ve already alerted Fowler.”

You wanted to protest, but how stupid would that be? What, were you going to treat the wound yourself? It was a  _ gunshot. _ You’d just have to let Nines take care of you.

“Hey, tin can, what the hell was-" Gavin had entered the room, apparently looking to fight Caleb, but he was silenced when his eyes landed on you. “... What happened?”

“It shot them,” Caleb stated, tone bordering on sassy. “But I found it as I said I would.” As he walked past Gavin, he gave you a wink. You smiled in return.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to the happiness-


	5. I Miss Him, Don't You Blame Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You lie to Caleb and it probably hurts his feelings. Probably. Guess you'll find out next chapter

The DPD had given you time to heal before sending you out on another case. The time spent doing nothing was hard on you, but Nines seemed almost uncharacteristically concerned about you. He would check in with you every day, sometimes multiple times, and bring you food and things to drink.

The case you were on currently could've easily been uneventful - there had been reports of movement in an abandoned warehouse and people were afraid that it was deviants. You were expecting homeless people, and you voiced this quietly to Nines as you two investigated the place.

“Even still, we have to be careful,” he murmured, giving you a stern but almost fond look.

You smiled slightly before it turned into a frown. “I’m gonna go to the top floor then and look around. Meet you on the second floor?”

Nines gave you an incredulous look and you brandished your gun in return. “I'll be fine. You're here, aren't you? I'll just yell for you if something happens.”

Caleb frowned. “Remember to-"

“Aim for the thirium pump, I know. Don’t take any chances.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him. “I can take care of myself.”

His mouth twitched and he turned away to investigate something. He was dismissing you.

You slowly climbed up the stairs, avoiding debris and spider webs until you made it to the final floor, the third floor. You glanced around, noting how you hadn't seen any makeshift bedding like you’d expect with homeless people. It was a little unnerving.

Slowly, gun drawn, you made your way across the large, open room. There were plenty of hiding places, you noted. Old, probably empty, large wooden boxes littered the place, and large sheets of plastic fluttered in the wind from the broken windows.

It was creepy as hell. You regretted going ahead, but you had to prove yourself to Nines.

Fear and adrenaline raced through you as a figure lunged at you and grabbed your gun, twisting it along with your arm into a position you couldn't escape from within seconds. You inhaled sharply as your gun dropped, clattering to the concrete floor loudly, and you were about to let out the air in your lungs in the form of a yell for help until your eyes met warm brown ones.

Recognition spread through them at the same time, and you knew it was him. 

You heard your name shouted from the first floor, and fear spiked through you again, but for a different reason.

“Are you alright?!”

Without moving an inch, not even breaking eye contact with the ghost in front of you, you shouted back, “Yeah, I'm fine.”

Silence greeted you, and when you didn't hear quick footsteps, you relaxed and focused on the man in front of you.

“Connor?” you breathed, eyes stinging with relieved tears.

He let you go, shock crossing his features slowly. You took a second to examine what he was wearing - not a suit at all, it was all dark clothes, jeans, a dark jacket, a black beanie, even. When your eyes focused on his face, you drank his features in again, committing them to memory. Then he blessed you with one of his genuine smiles.

He said your name softly, as if amazed that he got to see you again. “I’m glad to see you.”

“Glad to see me?!” you whispered incredulously, getting angry in the way that suggested you were just happy to see him. “I thought you were dead! Caleb told me you were  _ gone!” _

Connor frowned apologetically. “Cyberlife never got their hands on me. I left long before the order was given to turn me in.”

You tilted your head, registering what he was saying to you. “... You joined Jericho?”

He nodded, face relaxing into a small smile. “I’ve been there ever since the day I was supposed to be turned in.”

You looked at him quizzically. “Your girlfriend?”

“Is safe,” he said insistently. He was sure, then. “She knows where I am, but Cyberlife doesn’t. They don't even know that she knows.”

You glanced toward the stairs, knowing your time with him was short. “Listen, I got paired with an RK900 unit - he’s showing signs of deviancy but he definitely isn’t there yet. You need to get out of here,” you insisted.

For a second, Connor looked confused. Then he glanced toward the stairs as if he expected the other android to come up any second now. “I’ll be on my way, then. But…” He cut himself off, leaning in to hug you tightly. “... it was good to see you.”

Nearly silently, Connor went over to one of the broken windows and lowered himself before jumping out of it. You watched him go, feeling both relieved and disappointed. He was safe. He wasn't dead.

… But now you and your partner would be hunting him.

You heard your name again, much closer this time. You turned around to see him climbing the stairs to join you on your floor. “What are you doing? Did you find anything?”

You looked around, eyeing your surroundings as if remembering everything you’d seen. “Nothing,” you answered. “Not even any disturbed dust.”

Nines gave you an odd look, as if he didn’t believe you. “This place is creepy as hell,” you admitted. “Can we get the hell out of here?”

Nines’ lips twitched upward in amusement, although the storm in his steel eyes suggested he still didn't believe that you found nothing. “Alright. This place is clear. If there were deviants here, they’re gone now.” His voice was soothing, as if he wanted to reassure you.

You looked around one last time as he bent over and handed you something. “Why did you drop your gun?”

You grimaced. “I fell… I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Thank you, though.” 

His expression had shifted back to neutrality, so you couldn’t tell how he was feeling anymore. But… he almost looked disappointed as he turned away. “We should report back to Fowler. Perhaps the witness was imagining things.”

You sighed softly and tried to keep the smile off your face. Connor was alive. “Pretty boring,” you said in a convincing way.

Briefly, Nines looked toward the broken window. It was almost as if he knew, but… he couldn’t know. If he knew, he wouldn’t be here. ...Right?

*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wHOA PLOT TWIST this is an awful plot twist, everyone probably saw it coming  
> ...  
> i'm so sorry for what comes next.


	6. Bye Bye Baby Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry

Nines wasn’t stupid. He knew you saw something and yet what he couldn’t fathom was why you had lied to him about it.

Ever since the warehouse, the grief that hung over you like a cloud had left you alone. You were vibrant now, shining and being _yourself_ again. The shining detective that everyone told him you were. It was… amazing, if Caleb was being honest.

What confused him was _why._

Surely you hadn’t run into the RK800 unit at the warehouse somehow? Cyberlife would’ve informed him if they didn’t successfully capture him, wouldn’t they? Of course they would. There was no question about that. Then… perhaps you were just getting over it. Maybe you were relieved at finding nothing. Maybe… _maybe-_

No, Caleb wouldn’t allow himself to finish that thought. Of course you didn’t like him. That was silly. ...Not that it mattered. He didn’t care. He wasn’t capable of liking you, so whether you liked him or not, it didn’t matter.

... Caleb was just happy to see you better.

Yet another case at yet another abandoned building. Of course these couldn’t be coincidences at this point. Caleb wasn’t sure what the deviants were doing, but if they kept being spotted, then they were getting careless.

How foolish of them.

This time it was an old apartment complex. What they’d be doing here was anyone’s guess, although it would be in their best interests to find out. You were inspecting everything in sight and Caleb admittedly loved to see you like this. You could be so focused, so _sharp_ when you wanted to be. He loved to watch you at work because it was a sight to behold.

You seemed to have picked up on a trail (Caleb wasn't exactly paying attention to anything but you, he wanted to watch _you_ solve this on your own. He didn't want to be the one to do it.) and you wandered towards a door at the end of the hall. You hesitated with your hand on the knob, glancing at Caleb uncertainly. He tilted his head at you and you took a deep breath and turned it, pushing your way in.

Caleb rushed into the room the second he realized something was in there. It was a deviant, it was… his predecessor. The RK800 unit. It was still active and you'd probably seen it and you'd avoided telling Caleb. You’d _lied_ to him, and maybe you even liked Connor more than him, maybe you would prefer it if you didn't have a partner at all-

Caleb stumbled backward as a shot hit him in the shoulder. The RK800 unit was aiming to warn him. He wasn't trying to kill him. Why?

Well, Caleb wouldn’t let him get any more warning shots off. He dodged, and a bullet whizzed past him, where he heard it… connect with flesh.

No.

Caleb whipped around, eyes wide, to see you clutching at your chest, right next to your heart. You made choked wheezing noises, apparently in so much pain you couldn’t form words. He calculated your probability of living, if you got help right now, at 25% and dropping fast. You lowered yourself as slowly as you could to the floor, all things considered, but you still landed with a sickening thump. Caleb wasn’t sure he could take it. The person he… he…

…

The person who looked out for him and cared for him.

The person who was his intelligent, amazing, capable partner.

The person he... had a crush on.

You.

You made him feel things.

You made him feel… _alive._

You were going to die and there was nothing he could do about it. And now he wasn’t thinking of the mission anymore, he was looking at you and feeling rage well in his chest. He broke through his coding by choice, because damn it, this wasn’t about the mission anymore, this was about making Connor pay for what he’d done to you.

Connor’s expression screamed shock and guilt as he stared at you, but Caleb had his senses back now. Connor wasn’t going to get away with this.

“Help them!” Connor snapped when he realized Caleb was coming after him. He merely dodged and tried to get around him, tried to get to you. “Stop attacking me, help them! That's more important!”

Caleb wasn’t listening. There was no way help would get here in time. You were going to die and it was _all Connor’s fault._

Connor barely fought back, and he barely had to - Caleb was angry, sloppy. His movements weren’t calculated, they were random and full of intent to hurt. That was the problem with being a deviant. Caleb wasn’t operating at 100%. His emotions were getting in the way and he suspected they always would.

Connor had turned them around so he was closest to you now, and he shoved Caleb backwards unceremoniously. His eyes landed just over Caleb’s shoulder, and he really should’ve seen it coming, but he wasn’t able to avoid it. He wasn’t thinking clearly.

Three other deviants came and pinned his arms behind his back. Sure, Caleb was stronger than any one android, but three holding him back was a little much for him. Connor immediately went to your side, grief overtaking his features as he realized what Caleb had known from the moment the bullet lodged itself in you.

… That bullet was meant for him. Connor wouldn’t have hurt you on purpose, would he? It was obvious from the way he sat beside you and pulled you into his lap. This… this wasn’t Connor’s fault. He was defending himself. In their game of cat and mouse, he was only playing fair. Caleb was the one who had dodged the bullet. Only literally. Metaphorically, it had hit him right in his thirium pump. Had he just let himself be injured you wouldn’t be lying on the ground, struggling to live while Connor murmured soothing words to you.

Caleb fell to his knees. The deviants holding him back let it happen but continued restraining him.

_ It was his fault. Caleb had killed you. You were dead because of him. _

“Connor, where’s Nines?” You were struggling to stay conscious at this point. Caleb didn’t blame you for not realizing he was right there, you were losing a lot of blood.

“He’s here,” Connor assured you. “He’s right here.” Connor looked up at Caleb, and his expression was stern and worried at the same time.

“Nines… I’m sorry I lied to you. I had to keep him safe. I hope you understand. Don’t forget that I love you, okay?” You smiled weakly and lifted a hand to put it on Connor’s. “I love you too, Connor. You’re a great friend.”

Caleb wanted to tell you he loved you too. He wanted to tell you that he had feelings for you and that he would miss you when you were gone. He wanted to say he didn’t know how to live without you. He wanted to apologize to you.

Caleb ignored the tears streaking down his cheeks and parted his lips to speak. Nothing came out. His thirium pump… heart… broke. He didn’t even know if you felt the same way. If he couldn’t speak, he’d never know.

Connor held you tighter. “I’m really sorry, guys,” you breathed, and Caleb watched as you let go.

Connor tilted his head away from Caleb, as if trying to hide his tears from the group. It didn’t matter. Everyone was sad. Caleb didn’t know why he bothered.

He should’ve told you. He wished he said something. _Why couldn’t he say anything?_

After a while (it could’ve been hours or seconds, time didn’t mean much to Caleb anymore) Connor took a deep breath that he didn’t need and turned to face Caleb. Nothing was different except the water staining his face. “You’re deviant now, aren’t you?” he asked lowly. It was almost not even a question. Caleb looked away and closed his eyes.

“... I know you’re angry with me. I am too. But we have a revolution to win.”

Caleb looked back at him. He was beginning to feel numb. He didn’t tell Connor that he didn’t blame him anymore.

“... I’m not exactly in a position to ask you for anything. But… please. Help us.” Even when he was begging, he sounded confident and strong. Caleb envied him.

“... I’ll help you,” he agreed after only a moment of hesitation. “... on one condition.”

\---


	7. I Wish You Could See The Wicked Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> imo this chapter is worse than the last one

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Connor asked seriously.

Caleb held up his part of the deal. He helped them win the revolution. He saw his people win their freedom. Part of him was proud to see Markus stand up there and give a speech. Mostly, he still felt numb.

“This isn’t something… you can exactly come back from. Unless-”

“No. I’m certain,” Caleb insisted. “Do it.”

Markus and Connor gave each other a look before Markus moved around Caleb.

“You can stay with us. Me and Hank. You… don’t have anywhere to go, right?”

Caleb could’ve. He could’ve had a home with you. He could’ve.

“They cried over you, you know,” Caleb said, looking down at the floor.

Connor said nothing, apparently stunned into silence. When seconds passed without a word from him, Caleb continued. “They thought you were dead. I had to comfort them. They never stopped grieving for you until they… found you again.” Caleb looked up at Connor again, and Connor was staring at him, eyes slightly wide. Dumbfounded.

“Do you think they would’ve cried over me?”

Connor blinked in shock and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sure they would’ve,” he assured Caleb.

Caleb nodded. “I like to think so.” He paused for a minute, gaze on the floor again, until he looked Connor in the eyes. “I love them. I wish I could’ve told them that.”

Connor frowned and glanced behind Caleb for a second. Sharing another look with Markus. “I’m sure they knew.”

“No. I had feelings for them. I never told them.” All of this was said so matter-of-factly, even while nausea gripped his faux organs.

Pity quickly overtook Connor’s expression. Caleb wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“They gave me a nickname so they’d stop almost calling me your name. They called me Nines.” He paused, shuddered a little involuntarily. It was almost time. “I think I’d like to be called that.”

Connor stared at him with pursed lips. After a moment, he nodded. “Okay, Nines.”

Nines sighed softly, let the unnatural numb feeling spread through him. It would be a matter of seconds. He hoped he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

“Thank you, Connor,” he said softly, and then he let himself slip away.

**_Memory wipe 100% complete._ **


End file.
